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Help with ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION translation

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khafre78
Posted: Nov 02, 2005 8:03 pm Reply with quote
さくらんぼ さくらんぼ
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 34 Location: Misawa, Japan
I recently had the urge to translate one of my all time favorite song, Riraito by ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION, and it was challenging. It is so much more deep than I had imagined it would be. So I was hoping that someone could look over my attempt and clean it up a bit. The part that I am having the hardest time understanding is the first line.

リライト/ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION

軋んだ想いを吐き出したいのは存在の証明が他にないから
I want to spit out the creaking thoughts, because proof of existance is not another ?.
掴んだはずの僕の未来は「尊厳」と「自由」で矛盾してるよ
The grasping expectations of my future are contradicting dignity and freedom.
歪んだ残像を消し去りたいのは自分の限界をそこに見るから
I want to erase the warped afterimage, because you see your own limit there.
自意識過剰な僕の窓には去年のカレンダー 日付けがないよ
In the window of my excessive self conscienceness, there is no wound from last year.
消してリライトして
I turn it off, I rewrite it.
くだらない超幻想
The worthless super-illusion
忘られぬ存在感を
I dont forget the feeling of existance
起死回生
I will recover from this hopeless situation
リライトして
I will rewrite it
意味のない想像も君を成す原動力
It is the imagination that has no meaning and the force of motion that forms you.
全身全霊をくれよ
Give yourself, body and soul
芽生えてた感情切って泣いて
The budding feelings cuts you and you cry
所詮ただ凡庸知って泣いて
After all, you simply understand the mediocrity and you cry
腐った心を
The rotten heart
薄汚い嘘を
The dirty lie
消してリライトして
I turn them off, I rewrite them.
くだらない超幻想
The worthless super-illusion
忘られぬ存在感を
I dont forget the feeling of existance
起死回生
I will recover from this hopeless situation
リライトして
I will rewrite it
意味のない想像も君を成す原動力
It is the imagination that has no meaning and the force of motion that forms you.
全身全霊をくれよ
Give yourself, body and soul
 
moomoo
Posted: Nov 06, 2005 8:34 pm Reply with quote
さくらんぼ さくらんぼ
Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 31 Location: canada
I don't listen to Asian Kung-Fu generation, and I haven't heard this song before..><'' but based on the Japanese you gave here, here are some of my suggestions>w<

I think the first line would be more like this:

I wish to spit out my creaking thoughts because there's no other way to proof my existence.

I also think that [忘られぬ存在感] is more like "Unforgettable feeling of existence", so put together, [忘られぬ存在感を起死回生] would be "I bring back the unforgettable feeling of existence from the dead"

"It is the imagination that has no meaning", I think this can be shortened to "It is the meaningless imagination", I don't think it's absolutely necessary to follow the exact Japanese words.. >w< Also, this sentence should be:

The meaningless imaginations are the motivations that formed you

These are the problems I spotted.. if I'm wrong anywhere, please correct me >[]< Boogie

and good luck in translating. keep going! Boogie
 
khafre78
Posted: Nov 07, 2005 6:07 pm Reply with quote
さくらんぼ さくらんぼ
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 34 Location: Misawa, Japan
Thank you, your suggestions make much more sense than what I had. I just think so logically that it is difficult to get the feeling of what is said. I can usually dismantle the grammar into something that makes sense in English although it may not sound like anything someone would say, so sometimes the meaning is masked from me. And I should have caught that second one in that it was one sentence instead of two phrases. Translating more difficult stuff like this really helps to develop ones skills. Hopefully I will be able to speak passable Japanese eventually.
 
Heaven
Posted: Nov 08, 2005 10:08 am Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 04 Nov 2005 Posts: 7747 Location: スウェーデン / エスキルストゥーナ
hehe here is the romaji by the text Riraito...Embarassed

Riraito

kishin da omoi o hakidashitai no wa
sonzai no shoumei ga ta ni nai kara
tsukan da hazu no boku no mirai wa
"songen" to "jiyuu" de nujun shiteru yo
yugan da zazou o keshi saritai no wa
jibun no genkai o soko ni miru kara
jiishiki kajou no boku no mado ni wa
kyonen no KARENDAA hidzuke ga nai yo

keshite RIRAITO shite
kudaranai chou gensou
wasurarenu sonzai kan o
kishikaisei
RIRAITO shite
imi no nai souzou mo
kimi o nasu gendouryoku
zenshin zenrei o kure yo

mebaete ta kanjou kitte kuyan de
shosen tada bonyou shitte naite
kusatta kokoro o
usugitanai uso o

keshite RIRAITO shite
kudaranai chou gensou
wasurarenu sonzai kan o
kishikaisei
RIRAITO shite
imi no nai souzou mo
kimi o nasu gendouryoku
zenshin zenrei o kure yo
 
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