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Bad/Corny joke thread

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Koda
Posted: Apr 28, 2010 6:01 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 27 Oct 2008 Posts: 12319
^ LOLLLLL!!!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing That's great! Laughing

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
 
mangomalte
Posted: Apr 28, 2010 6:32 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 10 Oct 2006 Posts: 3587 Location: Sweden
^ lol... that reminds me of this one:

A doctor says to his patient:
“I'm sorry to tell you that your sickness has worsened and you don't have much longer to live.”
Desperately the patient asks: “How much longer do I have?"
"Ten."
"Ten? Ten what? Days? Weeks? Months?"
"Nine... Eight..."

this joke isn't funny at all for me atm, though... i'm watching another of those girl-with-a-fatal-disease dramas. Crying
 
skeedatl
Posted: Apr 29, 2010 12:27 am Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 4374 Location: Himeji
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
Smily in Seattle
Posted: May 18, 2010 3:47 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 3564 Location: Seattle, WA
Why was the blonde so happy when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?

Because on the box it said "for 2-4 years"
 
Koda
Posted: May 24, 2010 7:12 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 27 Oct 2008 Posts: 12319
^ Hahahahaa.... Tongue Tongue

A guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."
Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."
2nd guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."
Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."
This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out." 3rd guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"
The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you."
The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?"
3rd guy "Because you don't have any ears to hang glasses on."
 
pon pon
Posted: Jun 01, 2010 7:55 am Reply with quote
クムリウタ クムリウタ
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 1011 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Bob Monkhouse: "They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."
 
Smily in Seattle
Posted: Jun 02, 2010 5:56 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 3564 Location: Seattle, WA
^ that's funny... May I share at work?
 
skeedatl
Posted: Jun 02, 2010 6:36 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 4374 Location: Himeji
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of." -- Ogden Nash
 
Smily in Seattle
Posted: Jun 04, 2010 12:58 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 3564 Location: Seattle, WA
^ は? Confused Confused Confused
 
skeedatl
Posted: Jun 04, 2010 1:02 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 4374 Location: Himeji
^ Your dog doesn't want to always go out or if already out doesn't want to come back in? Mine do. They want to be wherever they aren't.
 
Smily in Seattle
Posted: Jun 04, 2010 2:13 pm Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 3564 Location: Seattle, WA
Naruhodo...

I guess this is true for mine too, but just not as extreme as past dogs. They generally want tp ostick to me like glue where ever I go (in or out)
 
skeedatl
Posted: Jul 07, 2010 10:25 am Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 4374 Location: Himeji
Hear about the Jewish guy who makes his own beer?


Hebrews his own. Giggle
 
skeedatl
Posted: Mar 25, 2011 11:25 am Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 4374 Location: Himeji
Really lame

 
Smily in Seattle
Posted: Mar 25, 2011 11:27 am Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009 Posts: 3564 Location: Seattle, WA
What is the last thing they do to Tickle me Elmo just before coming off the line and being packaged to go out for sale?




They give him two test tickles

If you don't get it.. read the punchline out loud Laughing

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skeedatl
Posted: Mar 25, 2011 11:30 am Reply with quote
クラゲ, 流れ星 クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 01 Feb 2010 Posts: 4374 Location: Himeji
^ LOL. That's good.

 
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