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| Smily in Seattle |
 Posted: Jan 13, 2010 1:50 pm |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 3552
Location: Seattle, WA
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I am wondering why so many people, myself included, are very hesitant to talk with those we see almost daily on our commute or at work, school, the gym, or Starbucks, etc.
There are faces that I recognize since I see them often, yet they have no real "connection" to me which makes it awkward to start a conversation... Now, when I see the commuter at the supermarket, for instance, it's a whole new story. We share a commute AND then see each other at the store? "Hi! how are you?" I know you from the bus to downtown... Fancy meeting you here.  "
(side note: I do not use the term "fancy" in this context normally... just trying to add effect).
I have actually made two friends this way... Saw so and so from the bus at Costco and became friends. I am thinking that this is not unusual behavior but I am wondering what the friendly people of Channel Ai think about this concept? |
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| woaini |
| Posted: Jan 13, 2010 6:10 pm |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Posts: 15172
Location: Ky, USA
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i do this frequently....
like back when i was in school... i would be around the same people every day and never really talk to them unless i asolutely had too. but i can meet someone at the store and start an hr long conversation...
and here on the internet... i talk to yall all over the world like ive known yall forever, but i dont talk to people that live next door to me ( my relatives that live next door dont count in this conversation....)....
i really dont know why... its very strange....  |
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| Koda |
| Posted: Jan 13, 2010 6:39 pm |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 27 Oct 2008
Posts: 12318
Location: Still on Mars
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Hmm...well I personally believe that strangers are just friends (or enemies  ) that you haven't made yet For example, when I went into the musical I'd signed up for a few months ago, I was totally scared of being alone, but I came out of it with a lot of valuable new friends I'll never forget, and I'm still making new friends left and right! |
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| .::carlito::. |
| Posted: Jan 13, 2010 6:59 pm |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 3609
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Strangers aren't so bad. You just have to be nice and it will all work out.
I've been in various situations where I've been surrounded by some strangers really. For a first example, I only knew a handful of people (who came with me from my old school) in my new school and they thought the people there were weird. But after a while they really weren't. I probably didn't feel fully isolated but I was happy to at least know some people there and they've been really good to me and the newbies.
Another example is my time at a student leadership ministry retreat. It's like a camp where we do various activities on learning how to serve. I had two scenarios where we had met strangers. The first was being involved in the soup van activity during late night. We had met the workers there, other people helping out who were there to do their hours of community service and the homeless people who get their free food. All I really had to do was approach them nicely and they would say their thanks. My friend called it the ripple effect how they smiled and it made you smile to see you were doing the right thing. The second activity was helping out in a asylum seeker centre. I helped out with this FoodBank thing where people get some food with an amount of points depending on the number of people in the family. A lot of the people were so nice. Sometimes I even forgot about the points and wanted to be generous and give them an extra carton of milk or something.
This was all contained in last year and I wouldn't forget it for the world.  |
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| chokokokoa |
| Posted: Jan 14, 2010 9:34 am |
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恋愛写真
Joined: 11 Jun 2009
Posts: 1480
Location: Indoneshia
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Then we all have to introduce our Aichin to these new people then!!!   |
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| Smily in Seattle |
| Posted: Jan 14, 2010 1:43 pm |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 20 May 2009
Posts: 3552
Location: Seattle, WA
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Strangers are not bad at all, I agree.
My point is a bit different, though. Joining an event where others are there for the same or similar purpose, it not really what I mean. This is because there is already a common link.. (a musical or retreat). In those cases, it would seem natural to meet new people and become friends or learn not to like them.
I am talking more about cases where you just happen to be in the same place on many occasions with many people but you are not there for any common purpose. Maybe many Channel Ai members do not find themselves in this situation very frequently?
There are probably about 30-40 faces I know from the bus ride to work and these people know my face and each others' as well. Yet. there is almost never any sort of communication among us. In two cases, I happened to see one of these people elsewhere. One was behind me in line at Costco. The bus, by itself, was not sufficient to strike up a chat, but at Costco, we shared the link of the bus and being at the same place. So now we knew each other and not talking there seemed as awkward talking on the bus. So we talked and now often sit together when we are on the same bus. She knows all about Ai-chan now since I am often playing concert DVDs. This particular person is a 30 something Chinese (mainland) lady and the other one is a 20 something Hong Kong lady (pattern here?) |
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| .::carlito::. |
| Posted: Jan 15, 2010 8:29 am |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 3609
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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^
I see your point, I don't know I just seem nice to every stranger I meet. 
My friend actually has a neighbourhood where it's like the Simpsons, everyone basically knows everybody but they don't necessarily talk. I've usually seen some people on the bus that I've seen before but I never really say hello because they don't seem like they want to. I've never been approached by strangers but I've helped strangers in the past though in the bus. Say, an old woman drops her bags, I've helped her picked it up.
There's probably a few people that wouldn't talk to me because of something stupid, ridiculous or things went the wrong way so if they don't want to say a word to me, I say, so be it. You're a stranger to me. |
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| flintandtas |
| Posted: Jan 15, 2010 8:51 am |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 07 Jul 2009
Posts: 8414
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Umm yeah, it depends, I find that there isn't that many people I see all the time on the same train .... probably only about 10 I see regularly. There is one girl who used to stand next to me on the platform every day and catch the same train both morning and evening for about 3 years, and while I used to say hi to her a now and then, the conversation never went much further than that. 
There are a lot of other complete strangers who I meet less regularly but always seem to get into a conversation with, mainly because I often wear a bombers shirt, and that seems to be an instant conversation starter Even when I was in Japan, I had some Australians come up and talk to me just because I was wearing a bombers shirt. |
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| .::carlito::. |
| Posted: Jan 15, 2010 9:13 am |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 14 Oct 2006
Posts: 3609
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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^
Hahah, funny in my school, I wore a keychain for my locker keys. For a random reason, it was a yellow and black Johnnie Walker (not that I drink alcohol) key chain.
One of the students questioned me if I was a Richmond Tigers supporter. |
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| woaini |
| Posted: Jan 15, 2010 11:27 am |
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クラゲ, 流れ星
Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Posts: 15172
Location: Ky, USA
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ah. i get it now. yea i know what you mean. no trains or busses around here thought, unless you count the school bus  i see the same people losts of places around here. our county is very small so everyones usually traveling to the same places, just one BIG town here in our county. i see the same people at the stores we shop at and at restaurants and all kinds of other places, but we never speak to each other unless we absolutely have too. |
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